Princess Fiona rises and, excited that it is her wedding day, dances around, singing "Morning Person". When she enquires about her groom-to-be, Shrek and Donkey let the "short" jokes fly, and Shrek begins to mock her childhood circumstances. Each thinking his/her own childhood is worse, the two begin a contest of one-upmanship that culminates in a battle of disgusting bodily noises ("I Think I Got You Beat"). Through this, their pasts are revealed to one another, and a friendship is kindled.

Meanwhile, back in Duloc, Lord Farquaad plans his wedding, and he reveals his own sordid heritage with the song "The Ballad of Farquaad".